Jan 22, 2024

Kehilangan Yang bakal, sentiasa dirindukan.

 2024.


21.Januari.2024

12 pm. Hospital Kulim.



We lost a member of our beloved family. A dearest one. Not much talking person, yet very impactful presence in our life. My sister in law left 2 child, 14 &6 year old, 



I can't even imagine how can my niece and nephew will go through this challenge. Yet, I believe Allah know the best. We'll survive this together. Hopefully we able to make it successfully. 



Thank you, kak yong for being the best sister in law. For being there with my brother during his lowest, and possibly the highest moment in his life. And for giving Pa the best memories during umrah even tho it is last minute decision. 




Till we meet again in heaven, InsyaAllah.

Jun 7, 2023

Good person in the wrong time

 "hey"

"hey ya"

"okay?"

"yup. You?"

"same old, girl. Thanks for coming. Such a long journey, with little notice"

"you're kidding, right? Little notice? A very short notice. Luckily, you're the one who prepare the all the procedure that I don't even want to think about"

"again, thanks. Family back home?"

"we're surviving. Pa is like always, selalu cari kerja tho semua bising duduk rumah. Angah dah kahwin."

" I know. Saw the photo uploaded by Bush"

"omg... Lama gila tak dengar orang panggil alang Bush. Haha"

"anyway, thanks a lot."

"naaah. No problem"


++


Kadang, kau perlu untuk menjauhkan diri dari suasana yang dihadapi. Untuk diri, untuk semua. Bukan mudah, tapi keadaan itu memaksa. 


Kadang, jumpa orang yang baik itu, di masa yang salah juga memaksa. Memilih untuk melepaskan itu lebih baik. Bukan kerana dia. Tapi bilamana engkau disajikan dengan perkataan yang orang kata biasa je. Tapi untuk yang menerima itu, bukan mudah.


"kamu ingat dia tu nak sungguh ke?"

" you deserve him? Are you sure? Not because of pity?"

"punyalah ramai perempuan yang sesuai untuk dia, dia pilih kamu? Entah-entah, dia saja."


Sungguh. Kadang terfikir, kekurangan itu terlalu besar, sehinggakan yang sekeliling jadikan bahan jenaka Tanpa sedar, subtle yet I saw it. 


Tapi bilamana melihat khabar, hanya mampu tersenyum. Moga yang baik sahaja untuk kita semua.


Datangnya dia di saat aku masih tercari-cari nilai diri, dan kini masih mencari. Katanya terima seadanya, tapi tak semudah itu. Terlampau banyak kelemahan. Orang kata cari yang sekufu. Dan itu juga asbab kenapa aku lepaskan.



But. Then, hey.. You're doing good. Will survive, gonna survive... Absolutely. Because, you are you. Just keep walk, or maybe, just take a rest. Anyway, you are good. Good. 

Apr 26, 2022

Puasa to Raya 2022.


26 April 2022

Ramadhan ke 25.

Hampir 5 tahun Ma pergi. 

2 years since pandemic. 


And... 

Now, getting headache to arrange the gathering of family... My very basic family which include pa, 4 brothers , 2 sisters, 2 SILs, 2 niece, 1 nephew and me. 


"kak, mu la yang tolong uruskan, set kan masa nak buat makan-makan"

"kak, nak buat apa je makan-makan"

"kak, raya nanti nak makan apa?"

"kak, kita buat air Hijau, nasi minyak can ah"

"kak..."

"kak..."


And me having the list of menu for the entire week, rancang bagai nak rak, harapnya menjadi lah... 



Tapi la ni isunya, abang aku yang dah kahwin semua dok suruh tanya sedama sendiri planning small circle family depa. Memang... Memang, buat aku pening. 



Btw, lately missing Ma so much. Too much burden.. Like, the situation itself does not helping me to be at ease. Moga kata hati yang sejak 1 bulan lepas tak tenteram ni akan tenang bila sampai my nephew and niece from kedah.



And... 


Tonight... Ada aura nak hujan. Sejuk lah sikit. 


Annyeong yeorobun... 


Selamat hari raya, maaf jika ada salah silap. 


Have a bless Ramadhan, moga dilertemukan kita dengan lailatuQadha.