I try but still not enough

"Have you tried hard?"
"I tried...maybe not hard enough"
"Do you regret that you dont try hard enough?"
"Yes. but... I just hope that I dont hurt him anymore. Rasa macam....tahu tak rasa macam ada je kurang. imperfect. I know everyone is not perfect. but, you cant deny that he deserved better. not someone who unable to let him know that I love too much sampaikan rasa dia lebih layak dapat yang sekufu dengan dia, selayaknya dengan dia."
"Apa dia kata?"
"I dont know.Coz me being coward, leave without explaining anything"
"You're cruel."

###

kalau sayang itu yang dikatakan kejam. siapalah untuk menidakkan.
memang kejam pun. pergi tanpa kata. senyap begitu saja.

tapi

kekurangan diri...apatah lagi bila di'persembah'kan dengan cakap - cakap orang, bukan orang lain...orang yang dikenali, rapat,bahkan keluarga jauh sekali sekala jumpa pun kekadang pandang mudah, memperlekehkan...sampaikan terfikir : di mana istimewanya diri untuk diberikan cinta sebegitu.

maka, immature decision but cruel is done. too much insecurity that have been developed. try not to be that kind of woman. yet, here we are.


sorry for being too insecure. sorry for being cruel. maybe you deserve much more than I can do for you.